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Items tagged with: humor

Yosemite Expands Lodging Accommodations With New Log Cabin High-Rises


YOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—In an effort to make one of the country’s most celebrated natural wonders more accessible to the public, Department of the Interior officials announced Friday that Yosemite National Park would expand its lodging options by constructing dozens of new log cabin high-rises. “There’s really no better… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/yosemite-expands-lodging-accommodations-with-new-log-ca-1832648061

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Life comes at you fast!

#Chicago #police conclude that the alleged #homophobic, #racist #attack on #JussieSmollett was a #hoax. Now even CNN is calling out the lies of this #Black #Half-Jew.




Smollett paid two #Nigerian actors to help him orchestrate this hoax, putting a #rope & a little #bleach on him while yelling "This is MAGA country!"


https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/16/entertainment/jussie-smollett-attack/index.html

#NotTheOnion #rofl #humor #fun #lol #hoax #hoaxes #jew #jews #media #msm #mainstreammedia #Smollett
 

Tumor-Covered Chester Cheetah Apologizes For Role In Marketing Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos To Children


WASHINGTON—Speaking out against his former employer while testifying before Congress, terminally ill snack-food mascot Chester Cheetah apologized through tumor-riddled lips Friday for his role in marketing dangerously cheesy Cheetos to children. “I’m ashamed to have been a part of this campaign,” said Cheetah, who… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/tumor-covered-chester-cheetah-apologizes-for-role-in-ma-1832648266

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Pros And Cons Of Salary Transparency


An increasing number of people advocate being open about salaries as a way to fix pay iniquities and encourage employees to ask for more compensation, but there are many cultural and professional taboos around the practice. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of salary transparency. Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/pros-and-cons-of-salary-transparency-1832648363

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

Female Brains More Youthful Than Male Ones


A recent study found that women’s brains tend to appear to be about three years younger than those of men at the same age, a difference scientists suggest could give them an advantage in maintaining cognitive acuity as they get older. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/female-brains-more-youthful-than-male-ones-1832662931

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 
"Debugging is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you're going to start crying at inappropriate times." #geek #computer #humor
 

Chinese Man Worried You Can’t Have Respectful Debate About How Amazing Government Is Anymore


BEIJING—Lamenting the country’s widening political divide, local man Lei Chen admitted to feeling worried Friday that you couldn’t even have a respectful debate about how amazing the government is anymore. “We’ve become so polarized between people who believe we’re the best country in the world and people who believe… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/chinese-man-worried-you-can-t-have-respectful-debate-ab-1832652900

#humor #satire #news... show more
 

Trump Base Celebrates President For Standing Up To Constitution


WASHINGTON—Enthusiastically praising the commander-in-chief for holding firm in the face of opposition, Donald Trump’s political base cheered on the president Friday for standing up to the U.S. Constitution. “He stayed strong and really showed the Constitution who’s boss,” said 48-year-old Trump supporter Ross… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/trump-base-celebrates-president-for-standing-up-to-cons-1832659448

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Trump Offers Clear, Historical Precedent For Deploying U.S. Military With No Provocation


WASHINGTON—Providing a lengthy, comprehensive explanation of the factors influencing his decision to declare a national emergency that would send military funding and personnel to the nation’s southern border, President Donald Trump offered a clear, historical precedent Friday for deploying the U.S. military with no… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/trump-offers-clear-historical-precedent-for-deploying-1832659857

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Mass Invasion Of Polar Bear Forces Russian Islands To Declare Emergency


After dozens of polar bears flooded into the Novaya Zemlya archipelago, local authorities have declared a state of emergency. Environmental experts in the region have arrived to sedate and remove the population. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/mass-invasion-of-polar-bear-forces-russian-islands-to-d-1832662381

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

#Bee: RBG resumes work at Supreme Court

Half-human, half-robot Justice enters Supreme Court, introduces self as Ruth Bader Gins-Borg





WASHINGTON, D.C.—Yesterday after the #UnitedStates #SupremeCourt opened and #justices began filing in, a half-robot, half-human with the face of #RuthBaderGinsburg entered wielding an a... show more
 
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