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Items tagged with: humor

Les Moonves Doesn’t Know How He Going To Tell Wife He Didn’t Get $120 Million Bonus


NEW YORK—Saying the news would come as a big disappointment to her, former CBS chairman and CEO Les Moonves confided to reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain how to tell his wife Julie Chen he didn’t get the $120 million bonus he had been expecting from the company. “She’s going to be so upset with me when she finds… Read more...

Read more at: https://entertainment.theonion.com/les-moonves-doesn-t-know-how-he-going-to-tell-wife-he-d-1831181205

#humor #satire #... show more
 
Lustige Bücher zum Verschenken
https://www.ndr.de/kultur/buch/Lustige-Buecher-zum-Verschenken,buchgeschenke100.html
#Buchtipps #Weihnachten #Humor # #Sachbücher #Romane #NDR #NorddeutscherRundfunk #Norddeutschland #Radio
 
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Chuck Schumer Insists Democrats Won’t Budge On Wall


Chuck Schumer declared this week that Democrats will not provide any more funding for a border wall, noting that he and fellow Democrats are willing to wait until they have a House majority to help push forward their interests. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/chuck-schumer-insists-democrats-won-t-budge-on-wall-1831182435

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

Radio Station Playing Controversial ‘Little Drummer Boy’ On Repeat In Defiance Of Those Who Claim It Contains Sexually Predatory Themes


LEXINGTON, KY—Pushing back against what they view as political correctness run amok, DJs at local radio station 104.5 “The Cat” were defiantly playing “The Little Drummer Boy” on repeat Tuesday despite claims that the Christmas standard contains sexually predatory themes. “This is a classic song, and the manufactured… Read more...

Read more at: https://entertainment.theonion.com/radio-station-playing-controversial-little-drummer-boy-1831177978

#humor #satire #... show more
 

Woman Who Hasn’t Bought Anything Recently Wondering Why She Suddenly Happy


MADISON, WI—Struggling to explain her positive emotional state, area woman Erin Kinney reportedly spent Monday wondering why she was suddenly happy despite not having purchased anything recently. “Huh, that’s weird. Why do I feel so content right now? I don’t think I splurged on anything today, but maybe I just… Read more...

Read more at: https://local.theonion.com/woman-who-hasn-t-bought-anything-recently-wondering-why-1831147843

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

‘Sesame Street’ Includes First Muppet To Experience Homelessness


Sesame Street street puppet Lily, a 7-year-old bright pink Muppet, will become the show’s first character to experience homelessness, with the show’s producers hoping this addition will create empathy and a sense of understanding on the issue among children. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/sesame-street-includes-first-muppet-to-experience-hom-1831148053

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

Trump Administration Launches Human Rights Investigation Into Senate’s Harsh Treatment Of Mohammad Bin Salman


WASHINGTON—Decrying the Senate’s resolution blaming the crown prince for the brutal torture and murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi as “a cruel, inhumane, and unprecedented interference into a sovereign kingdom’s internal affairs,” the Trump administration launched a human rights investigation Monday into the… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/trump-administration-launches-human-rights-investigatio-1831153052

#humor #satire #... show more
 
This guy is awesome! Where can I get one? Talk about #schadenfreude #engineering #humor
 

Ryan Zinke Apologizes For Misuse Of Government Funds By Sending Ethics Committee $160,000 Vase


WASHINGTON—Attempting to make amends for gross abuses of power during his time as Interior Department Secretary, an unusually contrite Ryan Zinke apologized Monday for misusing government funds by sending the members of the ethics committee a $160,000 vase. “I know this doesn’t change anything about how I exploited my… Read more...

Read more at: https://politics.theonion.com/ryan-zinke-apologizes-for-misuse-of-government-funds-by-1831156792

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Maria Butina Pleads Guilty To Russian Scheme To Influence Conservatives


In a deal with federal prosecutors, Maria Butina pleaded guilty to conspiring to act as a foreign agent as part of a broader effort to incline notable members of the NRA and other conservatives towards Russia. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/maria-butina-pleads-guilty-to-russian-scheme-to-influen-1831157633

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

Everything Reminds Man Of ‘Her’


GENEVA, IL—Admitting that he thought he would have moved on by now, 28-year-old marketing analyst Garrett Moore reportedly grew wistful and teary-eyed Monday while revealing that everything still reminded him of Her . “Even the breeze in the park reminds of the cool rush of air conditioning I felt in the theater that… Read more...

Read more at: https://local.theonion.com/everything-reminds-man-of-her-1831151242

#humor #satire #news #theonion ... show more
 
#fun #witz #humor #lustig

"Ich grüble vergebens, was ich meiner Tante zu Weihnachten schenken könnte."
"Rauchtischlampe?"
"Nein, das tut sie nicht."
 

Theresa May Delays Vote On Brexit Deal


Facing passionate opposition to the arrangement she brokered with Brussels, Theresa May postponed the parliamentary vote on a Brexit deal to avoid near-certain defeat. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/theresa-may-delays-vote-on-brexit-deal-1831070832

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 
Image/photoMax Kostikov wrote the following post Sat, 15 Dec 2018 20:59:09 +0200




#humor
 

Innocuous Thing You Did In Public Prompts Inside Joke That Bonds Group Of Teens For Life


WASHINGTON—Citing your faux pas as the catalyst for several meaningful friendships, a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center confirmed an innocuous thing you did in public has inspired an inside joke that will bond a group of teenagers together for life. “According to our research, the inelegant but… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/innocuous-thing-you-did-in-public-prompts-inside-joke-t-1831073713

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

U.S. Military Honors Sacrifices Of NFL Players By Wearing Jerseys Throughout December


ARLINGTON, VA—In recognition of the brave and altruistic Americans who risk their health and safety for the greater good, Pentagon officials announced Thursday that the U.S. military would honor the sacrifices of NFL players by wearing their jerseys throughout December. “Every week, these men are out there on the… Read more...

Read more at: https://sports.theonion.com/u-s-military-honors-sacrifices-of-nfl-players-by-weari-1831074598

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Supreme Court Will Not Hear Case On Defunding Planned Parenthood


In a win for Planned Parenthood, the Supreme Court opted to avoid a high-profile case concerning whether to allow Kansas and Louisiana to strip Medicaid money from Planned Parenthood. What do you think? Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/supreme-court-will-not-hear-case-on-defunding-planned-p-1831098834

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 

Red Cross Issues Reminder They Can’t Accept Donations From People With Loose Blood Cupped In Hands


WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that the practice was neither sterile nor sanitary, American Red Cross officials issued a reminder Friday that they cannot accept donations from people who approach them with loose blood cupped in their hands. “While we certainly appreciate the act of generosity, we must discourage any potential… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/red-cross-issues-reminder-they-can-t-accept-donations-f-1831098978

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Most Notorious Criminals In U.S. History


Violence and crime have been part of American history since the earliest explorers arrived on the continent and killed whoever they found before stealing their land. The Onion looks back at the most notorious criminals in the country’s history. Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/most-notorious-criminals-in-u-s-history-1831099154

#humor #satire #news #theonion
 
Image/photo

Eating the flesh of the Rich is Vegan, folks. I am sure kids will love it !


#shitposting #anarchist meme for cool people
#humor #fr #France #giletsjaunes #food #vegan
#riot #EmmanuelMacron #Protests #Europe #Paris
#Macron #Yellow #Vest #gilets #politics #international
#humour

I post every day meme about anarchy and other cool stuff.
Feel free to download and/or share them ! :)
 

This Is The Year I’m Finally Going To Burn Your House Down


As winter temperatures arrive and the end of the year approaches, I find myself in a place of deep reflection. Looking back on all the things I have and haven’t accomplished these past 12 months, I feel good about the progress I’ve made toward many of my personal goals. But there’s one particular thing I never quite… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/this-is-the-year-i-m-finally-going-to-burn-your-house-d-1831106759

#humor #satire #news #... show more
 

Report: Greatest Factor In Employee Retention Boss Sending Out End-Of-Year Note Titled ‘Thanks Team’


CAMBRIDGE, MA—Citing the gesture as a “best practice shared across the nation’s highest-morale offices,” researchers at the Harvard Business School published a report Friday identifying a correlation between workplaces with the highest employee retention rate and those where management distributed an end-of-year note… Read more...

Read more at: https://www.theonion.com/report-greatest-factor-in-employee-retention-boss-send-1831108402

#humor #satire #news... show more
 
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