ARIZONA — Overwhelmed with his workload having to #separate
from their #parents
day in and day out, #BorderPatrol
agent Dave Martinson called up #PlannedParenthood's
main office Friday to see if they could offer any helpful tips on how to separate children from their #mothers
A Planned Parenthood secretary immediately patched Martinson through to the organization's president, Leana Wen.
"No, I don't think we can't dismember them," Martinson said in response to Wen's suggestion that they #kill
them first. "Yeah, everyone would be all up in arms if we were to kill them. I mean, you guys get away with it but I'm not sure how."
Wen suggested that Martinson label the process of separating children from their mothers at the border as "women's healthcare" to #deflect
some of the #criticism
"The trick is to call everybody who disagrees with your separation policy an #oppressor
of women," Wen said. "It works for us." Wen also gave Martinson helpful tips to help him be more efficient at separating children from their mothers, like doing the procedure as quickly as possible before the mom can change her mind and lying to her about the process the entire way through. "Follow our advice, and you'll be getting more and more federal #funding
for your separation practices, even when the #Republicans
control the government," she concluded.
ARIZONA—Overwhelmed with his workload having to separate countless children from their parents day in and day out, Border Patrol agent Dave Martinson called up Planned Parenthood's main office Friday to see if they could offer any helpful tips on how to separate children from their mothers.A Planned Parenthood secretary immediately patched Martinson …babylonbee.com