Items tagged with: stanleythoughts

I keep a cute furry predator in my living room namely an 18-wheel trucak ball's in your court those who keep balls in courtrs rather than truckaks in living rooms #stanleythoughts
--Africa is an actual place full of actual countries with actual politics, cultures, musics, literatures, religions, etc.
--False. Africa exists for my self-actualization through ministry work.
--Look at missionary work. It's most accurately modeled by predation models or disease spread models. Sure some good things are modeled that way too but at its core it shares the same logic as a virus.
--FALSE! YOUR "SCIENTIFIC" MODELS CAN NEVER CAPTURE THE NUANCES AND SUBTLETIES OF MINISTRY WORK! For example, do you see, embedded deep within your model, any hint, any indication that the youth minister on the youth ministry missionary trip would get drunk and do that thing we're not allowed to talk about? #stanleythoughts
I'm SICK of all these stores' commercializing Yom Kippur with the empty shelves trying to sell us items for our fast and the only thing left is this one shelf full of KIPPURED seafood snacks

Uh sir there's a massive hurricane coming white people and looters have taken what they wanted from our shelves and now it's empty and we'll write it off and get an insurance payment feel free to take the seafood snacks I don't know why I'm not evacuating now

And to think, tomorrow they'll probably already have their Halloween decorations up and Tuesday the Hanukkah decorations. Hmph. #stanleythoughts
My mom disowned me when she found out i was Jewish.
Mom, I'm Jewish because you're Jewish! #stanleythoughts
so there's apparently a model of 2008 lenovo thinkpad with like free software bios or some shit
it's super free
everyone wants it
what if there was a particular model that was particularly unfree
like comcast owns everything you make on it
buy buying the computer you're committing yourself to forward your social security checks to someone else
or i mean all contributions toward adjusted gross monthly income that result from your use of the computer have to go to the corporation
i can't talk
this fraction of your social security check has to go to someone else
basically it's the acm open adcess machine
i think there could be an article about how unfree this computer is
or at least tim could email out
OCT 20TH, 5:28PM

you know i can't find natural awakenings or wisdom here it's bs

I meant https://www.hooktube.com/watch?v=UiCkz0dCSAo
Now it's more PC... show more
Fuck uou #LINKIN the social networking site for Linken Park fans wo want jobs!
Jyst beacuse you don't awcept my MEDICAL RESEARCH as EXPERIOENCE
Just becausedf I was a SUBJECT and not WEARING SOME LAB COAT doesn't mean it's any lses HARVARD PRESTIGIOUS
I prefer to punch them tbh. Slamming is very uncouth. It's called the knockout game and everyone who isn't white is doing it all the time. White people are under attack physically in the USA. Yup. Just like Christmas is. #stanleythoughts
Every political headline writer who does some version of "2020 Vision" will have to answer for their misdeeds when the bowling championship comes #stanleythoughts
Jesse Helms was the absolute worst Daily Show correspondent #stanleythoughts
The US political press teaches us that the only assets that define class in the US are (1) slips of paper from colleges (2) melanin. To be working-class you must lack both. #stanleythoughts

how to deal with a snakebite:
1) say "what happened to manners? people are so uncivilized these days" and if it keeps up "i didn't hear a 'please' young snakey."
2) say "oh my, and some say chivalry is dead"
3) say "if you keep biting me you're going to turn me racist" -- it's a pretty serious threat
4) say "newton's law says every action has an equal an opposite reaction so my cheek is not just pressing on your teeth it's being bitten by your
teeth as your teeth bite it
5) complain about its oral hygiene
6) read it some #stanleythoughts
It's a slippery slope from using a slippery slope argument to just admitting your wrong.
It's a slippery slope from reading #stanleythoughts to fighting a war on christmas to fighting a war on christians to admitting santa was black and jesus was nonwhite
Shrek I really want to flake out on you, but I've got this thing you see... #stanleythoughts
The symphony of the mail-in ballets, the provisional ballets, the cart-baskets being dragged at Leader Price, at Franprix, at Biomonde, at Auchan, at Casinomarché (bet big and lost grapes), and the norm-closed subalgebras of the space of bounded linear operators, the #stanleythoughts what are you looking forward to this holiday season?
"Wine turns people into boring people who only want to talk about what wines taste like."
"False! Drinking wine definitely makes me a better songwriter"
"Cool let's listen to your songs"
"The mouths on the bus go sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip" #stanleythoughts
when homer has to resort to natural highs
like climbing mt springfield and huffing paint
why did he not consider getting high
on #stanleythoughts the lacquer thinner of the internet
Awww Sweetie don't you know everything happens for a reason! Maybe your crippling debt and hunger is all part of Trump's Plan to Make America Great. #stanleythoughts
Why is this aerobics tape making me go under oath? I plead the fifth! #stanleythoughts
well my mac & cheese recipe has been made vegan
i call it "lettuce & lettuce" for short :)
ingredients: lettuce
directions: wash, serve
(optional: serve lettuce on a bed of macaroni necklaces -- delicious and stylish!)
#home #diy #cooking #lifestyle #recipes #yummers #stanleythoughts
Writers have been dunking on Jonathan Franzen because he's a horrible elitist technology hater and he Franzened up and gave us all writing advice.

So I gave him some writing advice: If you're writing anything on a computer, you need to get Grammarly. I write all my #stanleythoughts with Grammairely.

I pegged him with my burrito and his cat saw that as its opportunity to escape its oppressive woman-hating master.

The cat followed me.

We marched together toward perfection.

  • Filtered word: nsfw

Click to open/close

Paris police announce no-glow zones, zones where deep sea glowfish and ravekids are not glowing or going to glow try all new glow-in-the dark #stanleythoughts put them on your ceiling like sticky stars in the taffy sky
I am sick of all these kids deciding to eject the blood from their bodies all over their classrooms.

1) Respect and be true to your school. That means the capital, the principal, and the high school football coach, and whoever it is that paddles in those states that haven’t gone soft and outlawed corporal punishment. (When you outlaw corporal punishment only outlaws can punish your corpse, not fine disciplinarians who protect and serve legitimate and unquestionable power hierarchies.) Don’t respect your lazy pinko teachers who are crying in the state capital saying they can’t teach over the sound of rumbling tummies. That sound is not hunger it’s the sound of the engine of American progress. You’ve got to be hungry to achieve, none of this read to achieve bullshit. If you die of hunger it’s because you weren’t hungry enough.

2) Your making my fine collective of law-abiding fun owners look bad just because we break into schools and shoot young people brimming with potential dead. Again, we send the bullets and they decide how the... show more
My mood (see picture)

Take LSD and watch Bubble Boy
You'll see that we're all in a bubble
An invisible one
An ego bubble
And yet we're all connected, we're all vibrations in the same intergalactic sex toy
We can step out anytime
To step out is not to step out
It's to stop denying reality as it is
Could you Tex up my porn I only read LaTex in 2D please let me use the domain 2916LaTe.Xxx #stanleythoughts
My LaTex package automatically updates your citations with their true date, when they were actually written
e.g. pence's scholarly work "i want to fuck mulan so i can be kept from being gay" will be cited as 1892 (it was a bit slow to get to the press but nevertheless

#stanleythoughts (Danny K. press, Fall River: 2302) "why 2302? because they're so rad & ahead of their time?" no, herpes! because in 2302 people will have nostalgia for their youth, when they heard their great-^9 grandmother talk about the Trump years and when they had their great^10 grandmother upload her memory

badness 10000 is to the LaTex compile what thrown tomatoes is to the performer #stanleythoughts
What the fuck @Johnson&Johnson! There's no frosting in your Margaret Thatcher austerity first aid kit
instead, plenty of #stanleythoughts
Just to be clear: the Justice Department should not go after that rabidly misogynistic fascist propagandist Julian Assange. I hate his guts but I fear for his rights. No, Ecuador telling him to not be so messy and feed his cats did not threaten his rights. But the Justice Department very well could be threatening his rights right now. He's an #evilfuck who's made the world a worse place by playing no small part in getting Trump elected but he's our evil fuck dammit -- not the united snakes of amerikkka's #stanleythoughts
I shot down arithmetic from a helicopter in Iraq
(Crowd cheers)
I sprinkled reading on my salad and now its molecules serve me
(Crowd cheers)
Service, duty, country, video slots, virtual dogs
(Crowd cheers)
“We say no to handwashing and pass the savings and the germs onto you” was the last thing I saw before the nurse put my mask on and asked me to count down from 10. Fast Eddy, Licensed Surgeon, yes you lured me in with those ads showing your background as a NASCAR mechanic but I don’t think we’ll “sew you back up in under 30 minutes or your surgery is free” is a great slogan for your surgery shop. I do apparently have a glove in my intestines so at least you guys use (maybe reuse) gloves. I know that takes time and it’s this attention to detail that keeps me coming back for more #stanleythoughts
My economic development plan is mandatory brand training for all recipients of food stamps and Medicaid.
You will still pee in a cup don't worry but you'll have to meet with someone to go over your Instagram and duiaspora* presence to make sure you're communicating to the world thatyou're a productive citizen and netizen and that moreover you're one of the good poors
you can also see a "rich eye for the poor guy" coach who will help you find the best location in the park to sleep because it's all about location, location, location, as the best location to sell ice cream as well as how to cell ice cream you can't keep frozen or buy stocks of in the first place #stanleythoughts
I looked at his big honker?
Where did the signal end and the nose begin? #stanleythoughts
what do you mean my initiative designed to bright, overprivileged youth in inner city schools
but in a way where they aren't busting unions and ruining kids' lives to satisfy billionaires' appetite to crush anything public
deal drugs for america
what do you mean this can't be a nonprofit?
i've had it up to here with the politicization of the irs
now that marijuana is legal in many states
my effort to underwrite "bong hits for jesus" banners across from every school event is also unsubsidized by the tax man
and so is my effort to recruit more anrie hammers, arnie hammer for america
take billionaire bucks for america is fine though
so is drive stick for america drive with the drive stick to discourage broomstick transportation
you know, 2018 has been a terrible year for human rights
and sometimes you have to wonder, what the fuck brazil
or, when is it the right time to change the motor oil in my car
and what is the right choice of motor oil for humans to put in their cars
or when is it the right time to stick a native ad into content
the answer to all of these questions can be found at whatmotoroilandwhenandwhentoinsertad.space
readers can use the promo code #stanleythoughts to get a 10% discount in the length of the answer to the question
#stanleythoughts content providers can use the promo code #iamstanley to get the answer to a bonus question, what the hell i thought the market for oral hygiene products was enough to keep these thoughts afloat (answer you cheap bastards Glide Floss I will never plug your product again)

(#stanleythoughts premium subscribers get access to the full archive 24/7 not on demand when I demand as the thoughts will be injected directly into your conscious jabber -- all without ads!)
New study finds young people are having less sex and more #stanleythoughts
how many mashups videos do i need to see
of beto turning on his skateboard and heralding the shift in the winds
the winter winds coming and beto's sick turn nipping at my nose
and the wind cried
you don't chew-chew your food
and it brought a little picture of a choo-choo
which was nice seeing as
i haven't slept in days
My plump Christmas goose snorted all my Christmas cocaine and Frosty my snowman won't give me a refund #stanleythoughts
could #stanleythoughts slow brain cancer?
stanley thoughts are brain cancer
As Barbara Mason said, "Yes I'm ready" for the nanoinfluencers #stanleythoughts
how many three-judge panels does it take to impanel a panel
how many three-judge closets does it take to disemcloset a closet
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a lightbulb said the owl wearing a t-shirt that said "break glass if you want to ingest free mercury so wise #stanleythoughts
dont worry sessions if you need a job mediapost has part time positions available no us senate confirmation required #stanleythoughts
Democrats are finally deciding to be FOR something
they're starting to demand MORE
and that something is cowbell
Props to those youth protesting
And props to Rep.-elects Tlaib and Ocasio-Cortez for joining them
We're just one cRomnibus rules package away
From real, lasting cowbell

My painting of cheese its got rejected 350 times by the Louvre
Before it finally got accepted by the museum down the road
the museum of tough acts to follow
"We'll meet again don't know where don't know when but I know it's in my appointment book for August 43, 2022"
to fall down a #wellactually
here's a better glimpse at the future
it's training a markov model not to learn language but to learn the pattern of a picture of "yellow bell pepper texture" ie a bunch of yellow bell peppers in a basket or something filling up the space
like it learns that there are yellow pixels and stem pixels but after the center of the image, which contains the texture we wish to extend, it starts to look like yellow and black gibberish and G-d didn't make enough gibberish
except then when we increase the block size (ie each block now, rather than each pixel, is conditionally independent of all other blocks rather than pixels given its neighboring blocks rather than pixels) we see the structure start to coalesce, the scene start to settle
and the opposite of that process is what's happening in the future
and it's happening not just in 2d it's happ... show more
If you vote for Stanley Toothbrush I promise not to bribe Amazon to come to my shitty metro area. In fact, I'll send them annual bribes so long as they stay away. #stanleythoughts
I'd like to compile a list of #antifa #mathematics books. I've got so far:
(1) The works of Lilian Lieber
(2) Cent vingt et un jours by Michèle Audin

Lots of mathematicians resisted Nazism and lots collaborated with Nazism (and some were just plain victims). Please contribute to this list of #math #fascism #resistors #stanleythoughts
Every time you make a Toeplitz matrix you're punching a Nazi #stanleythoughts
An eye for an eye is a tremendous arbitrage opportunity. One Eurozone eye for just one American eye, not 1.13 American eyes like the market demands. And we're not even getting into purchasing power parity. And to think the judge just said he doesn't think -- and I quote -- "the world is not ready for your vision. I think the problem, rather, is that you-"
What a world #stanleythoughts
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